**Disclaimer** each persons situation is different but in general the same do not go home and demand that girl/guy follow these guidelines!!!
A question was asked today that invoked an in depth conversation about relationships and its expectations. I am a firm believer of setting the standard for what you expect out of a relationship. I always say if you allow him or her to be a bum in the beginning then they will be one in the end people don’t change only time does! I believe if it is just a friendship you want then keep it friendly and keep it moving. If its sex you want establish that in the beginning get it in and keep it moving, but if you are looking for a long term relationship then you should present that idea and set the standard for what your relationship will be. It really bothers me to see people together who are not equally yolked you making money holding down a household, and looking towards something better out of life and you trying to date a guy/girl with no ambition and no goals or any concept of how to get out of someone else’s pocket and into their own. A relationship is not about one person pulling the other person along. I’m all for encouraging your mate and for helping each other out but if he or she is not willing to help themselves out then they are just dead weight. That also brings me to expectations if you meet a person and you decide that this person is who you want to be with don’t expect anymore from than then you are willing to give of yourself and don’t expect them to give you anymore than you demand for yourself! Set the bar high and keep them reaching now I'm not saying tell him or her they have to keep you laced and fed and smiling 24/7 that’s not even real life but give what you can and expect the same in return! If he/she is not employed then don’t expect dinner dates and movies and costly outings every weekend and don’t go running down to the store to buy everything he/she needs every time you get paid. Also take sometime to get to know a person before you let them in. being equally yolked is not just a physical or financial you should also be equal on a mental and emotional level. Last thing a person who feelings get hurt by a dirty look is to be in a relationship with someone who is cold and unemotional! A person who is career oriented probably shouldn’t be with someone who can’t remember the last time they been to work! A person who has been hurt needs to seek out someone who understands their situation and is sensitive to it. I don’t believe people let go of old pain I believe we suppress it and the only way we don’t carry baggage into a new relationship is to be with someone who knows how to not open up old wounds and causes us as little new ones as possible!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
How Big is Trust in a Relationship to You?
***Disclaimer*** these are just my thoughts it is not the gospel!!!
Trust in a relationship is everything! Mistrust can take on a life of its own. Without trust a relationship crumbles! Have you ever walked down a dark street at night in an unfamiliar place? You know the feeling of apprehension and uneasiness; each footfall behind you seems menacing or troublesome; you quicken your steps. You tend to look over your shoulder, hyper alert for any danger lurking in the shadows. It’s the same way in a relationship when you are not trusting from the beginning or have lost trust somewhere down the line you are constantly on alert, constantly looking over his/her shoulder waiting for whatever is in the darkness to appear! How important is trust in a relationship to you?
Trust in a relationship is everything! Mistrust can take on a life of its own. Without trust a relationship crumbles! Have you ever walked down a dark street at night in an unfamiliar place? You know the feeling of apprehension and uneasiness; each footfall behind you seems menacing or troublesome; you quicken your steps. You tend to look over your shoulder, hyper alert for any danger lurking in the shadows. It’s the same way in a relationship when you are not trusting from the beginning or have lost trust somewhere down the line you are constantly on alert, constantly looking over his/her shoulder waiting for whatever is in the darkness to appear! How important is trust in a relationship to you?
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The difference between men and women is not so different!!!
***DISCLAIMER****
So I had an interesting conversation and it brought some things to mind..these are just my thoughts ppl no one get offended i thought most of you might find this funny....feel free to tag who you like lolll!!! ****
Women are so much stronger than men...Yes we are emotional by nature but at least we got control over em...we can turn them emotions off and on like a faucet! Some of us let em fill up and boil over some of us let em cook down real nice and serve em up smooth! some of us dont even let them joints get done and shove em in ur face! And some of us stay out the damn kitchen all together we ordering take out! and depending on te situation at hand we can might be a lil of all of em!! I think it takes for a woman to be strong to deal with any man but it takes an even stronger woman to deal with a man after shes been hurt cause its a constant internal battle to even have simple conversation you question yourself and him with every situation there after! and the woman who walks away is the strongest of us all if they walk away on their own accord and for reasons she can live with later not because of your friends and your family and definitely not for your ego.
Men yall terrible yall walk around acting like you dont give a damn and not because you dont but because you scared of your own damn emotions! You spend all this time building this image and creating these profiles just to act like they mean nothing! you spend all this time acting like yall dont need nothing or no one but most of yall would be lost without us! Not on no male bashing type stuff but seriously the whole point of life is to be self sufficient and be successful and have wealth and happiness and love so yall work all hard at these things to end up having no one to share it with...you need us as much as we need you but why do you need more than one of us?!
More importantly if you feel like its okay for you to have more than one of us why do you all loose control of those "none exsistant emotions" when we say whats good for you is good for us to!! if yall get a lil piece of a feeling that we doin something yall turn into one of us but we have to be okay with what you do..we have to sit pretty and accept but yall standing on the ledge ready to take the leap no proof tho just a feeling maybe you saw a name or a unfamiliar face to you or maybe you twisted a conversation in your own mind or maybe you looked at her phone and didnt recognize a number...hey you couldve even been on her facebook or twitter and a dude kinda like the man you are outside of her presence said some slick shit and you reacted yall know what i mean the shit that "WOMEN DO"!
in saying all that how do i sum this up...i could be slick and say anything thats okay for you should be okay for us...i could be malicious and say anything you can do we can do better..hey i can be timid and say yall need to stop hurting us like this and treat us right!! but ima just be me and say sit your dumb asses down and stop pretending like you dont give a damn before your get feelings hurt then your ass gone be on here and twitter statusing about how unstable women are and how malicious women are and how sneaky women are you know what i mean the shit that "Men Do"!!!
So I had an interesting conversation and it brought some things to mind..these are just my thoughts ppl no one get offended i thought most of you might find this funny....feel free to tag who you like lolll!!! ****
Women are so much stronger than men...Yes we are emotional by nature but at least we got control over em...we can turn them emotions off and on like a faucet! Some of us let em fill up and boil over some of us let em cook down real nice and serve em up smooth! some of us dont even let them joints get done and shove em in ur face! And some of us stay out the damn kitchen all together we ordering take out! and depending on te situation at hand we can might be a lil of all of em!! I think it takes for a woman to be strong to deal with any man but it takes an even stronger woman to deal with a man after shes been hurt cause its a constant internal battle to even have simple conversation you question yourself and him with every situation there after! and the woman who walks away is the strongest of us all if they walk away on their own accord and for reasons she can live with later not because of your friends and your family and definitely not for your ego.
Men yall terrible yall walk around acting like you dont give a damn and not because you dont but because you scared of your own damn emotions! You spend all this time building this image and creating these profiles just to act like they mean nothing! you spend all this time acting like yall dont need nothing or no one but most of yall would be lost without us! Not on no male bashing type stuff but seriously the whole point of life is to be self sufficient and be successful and have wealth and happiness and love so yall work all hard at these things to end up having no one to share it with...you need us as much as we need you but why do you need more than one of us?!
More importantly if you feel like its okay for you to have more than one of us why do you all loose control of those "none exsistant emotions" when we say whats good for you is good for us to!! if yall get a lil piece of a feeling that we doin something yall turn into one of us but we have to be okay with what you do..we have to sit pretty and accept but yall standing on the ledge ready to take the leap no proof tho just a feeling maybe you saw a name or a unfamiliar face to you or maybe you twisted a conversation in your own mind or maybe you looked at her phone and didnt recognize a number...hey you couldve even been on her facebook or twitter and a dude kinda like the man you are outside of her presence said some slick shit and you reacted yall know what i mean the shit that "WOMEN DO"!
in saying all that how do i sum this up...i could be slick and say anything thats okay for you should be okay for us...i could be malicious and say anything you can do we can do better..hey i can be timid and say yall need to stop hurting us like this and treat us right!! but ima just be me and say sit your dumb asses down and stop pretending like you dont give a damn before your get feelings hurt then your ass gone be on here and twitter statusing about how unstable women are and how malicious women are and how sneaky women are you know what i mean the shit that "Men Do"!!!
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